Recently I haven't blogged. I haven't even opened my computer to blog. I haven't taken out my phone to take pictures for blog posts. I haven't even really discussed blogging outside of the occasional questions I get asked at work or my random sporadic tweets on the subject. Why? Well for the same reason I decided I didn't want to be a journalist after taking a few journalism courses in college. There are too many rules and not enough action.
I originally began blogging because I wanted to be a publicist (still do) and was told I needed more of an online presence. This was supposed to be my resume. A way for me to show the world that I can achieve. I was going to document my life...my journey...I was going to show the world a side of me that would land me a job.
However, as soon as I started the website it changed completely and took on a mind of its own. I started joining groups to help grow my following and most are heavily regulated. I'm not saying that is a bad thing but my voice began to get muffled and a series of watered down posts began to come across my website. Posts that weren't me (in example every list post I've written minus the Arthur one because seriously its Arthur.) and didn't show case me.
I began to set myself deadlines, run myself dry and for what?
To discuss watered down topics that don't even make me feel like myself. Yes writing a list post every now and then isn't bad. Like I said I absolutely adore my Arthur post because "seriously its Arthur". I also don't hate any of my Sex and the City related posts but some how between my life and my Polyvore "Fashion Friday" posts my blog has no longer been me.
So what's next? Where does someone go when they've lost their selves? You start over. I'm not starting over in the sense of a WHOLE new blog or a DELETE EVERY POST type of start over (I do have some pretty good posts after all). No, I'm going to start over as in I won't attempt to post every other day and every day on the weekends. Being a new adult is not easy and posting that much without spending a day to write every single post is unreasonable. Instead my new goal is 3 times a week if I'm lucky I'll write 4 or more but let's not get too excited.
Of course I liked the convenience of watered down posts so that I can meet personal deadlines set upon by myself but I'd much rather provide you with substance. It took me a minute to realize it but now that I have this blog will be so much more productive and I'll actually be happy posting again.
See sometimes it takes losing yourself to realize who you really are and where you want to go. I know that I want this blog to showcase who I am, my opinions, and your opinions too. So we're giving this another shot and shooting for the best.
Best regards,
Ashley Nicole.
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